Top 31 Ways To Suck At Social Media Marketing
Mar2912:46 PM
Filed in: Indie Advice
If you want to truly SUCK at using social media, please follow this list closely and you'll be guaranteed limited exposure and zero online buzz!
In no particular order:
1. Don't engage with your fans and followers in direct conversations.
2. Don't grow your online profiles by adding new and relevant friends and followers (or, wait for people to find you on their own).
3. Only talk about yourself (or, spam often).
4. Don't monitor what is being said about you on the internet (otherwise known as, Don't Use Google Alerts).
5. Don't have a blog. And if you do have a blog, don't use it regularly and only post content when you have something to "sell".
6. Don't give your fans and customers what they want and how they want it.
7. Only have one profile on one social media networking site.
8. Don't customize your social media sites for fan interaction.
9. Don't have a custom website.
10. If you have a website, make sure it's done with Flash (so no one on an iPhone can use it).
11. Don't enable sharing features with all of your online content.
12. Don't create new content on a regular and consistent basis.
13. Don't give fans what they want, where they want it, or how they want it.
14. Don't be creative and think of new ideas that a fan would get excited about.
15. Take yourself very seriously and don't have fun.
16. Don't be a fan yourself and never look for online inspiration from others.
17. Post really long videos that even your best friend won't watch.
18. Never experiment. Never try anything new. Be afraid.
19. Assume that Twitter isn't right for you.
20. Don't invest a small chunk of each and every day into conversing with your fans.
21. Don't learn from past mistakes.
22. Assume that every different social media website has the same type of user and desires the same type of content/postings.
23. Automate everything and post the same thing everywhere.
24. Argue. Complain. Bitch. Moan. Be negative and air your dirty laundry for the whole world to see.
25. Don't read blogs and educate yourself on new and developing trends.
26. Don't start an email subscriber list.
27. Hire someone to do it for you.
28. Expect overnight success.
29. Work under the assumption that all of this work is a waste of time.
30. Make yourself hard to find online.
31. Don't reward your biggest fans and followers.
-- by Brian Thompson
